Sexy Birthday Cards & Funny Wishes

A collection of fun and sexy birthday cards along with suggested playful birthday wishes you can use in your card.

For Your Lady

• You my love are my perfect woman,
  Stunning but not vain,
  Relaxed but not lazy,
  Intelligent but not smug,
  Drunk but still standing.
  Happy Birthday
• You asked for anything with diamonds there are thirteen in a pack of playing cards.
• I wasn’t sure what you meant when you said 18 carrots, you never liked to cook in the past.
• I got our son an i-phone our daughter an i-pod so to continue the trend I got you an i-ron.

Turning 30 isn’t all that traumatic. Remember when I got into bed and thought your mother was you? That was traumatic.

• I knew you’d be mine from the first time I saw you. You were wearing a beautiful dress, all tarted up, high heels. You can’t run in high heels.

Sexy Birthday Cards You Might Like

For Your Man

• Who says men can’t multitask. I remember on your last birthday you were drinking, driving and bumping into a fence at the same time. Hope this one’s as good as the last.
• You know your getting old when you miss sleeping with teeth more than sleeping with women. Your not there yet so make the most of it while you can.
• I know you said you wanted a car, and I know you wanted it to go from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds but I could only afford one or the other so I got you a set of weighing scales.

Romantic & Sexy Birthday Cards and Sayings

• Over time as our relationship has grown, you have grown and have proved to me that big can be beautiful.
• When I met you I thought I was in love. Turns out love isn’t real. Unfortunately herpes is. Thought I’d let you know when you were in a good mood. Happy Birthday.
• I realised I was getting old when the doctor is telling you to slow down not the police, hopefully we won’t have a repeat of last year then.
• They say that love is like a river meandering through life, ours has flown straight as an arrow that never stopped.
• Our love is like an apple tree, planted by god and nurtured by us.
• I’ve been saving all my wishes for when they really count, today I wish you a happy birthday.
• When I asked you what you wanted for your birthday and you said you didn’t know but you’d better like it I thought the safest bet was to not get you a present. Enjoy
• On your birthday I wish you a day as special as you are to me.
• When I’m outside without you I feel lost inside.
• Tonight I’m your kitten, peek a mew.
• Our love started with a smile, and flourished with a kiss, where shall we take it tonight?
• Keep on frowning otherwise somebody else will fall in love with your smile.
• Lets see if this’ll be the best birthday yet,
  I’ll make it one that you’ll never forget.
• To me you’re the best gift of my life, today is just a chance for me to try and give a little back.

Take me back from sexy birthday cards